You are sweet
He is bitter.
You are a treat
He is crazy.
I thought that you would be the man in my life,
The man of my dreams,
And me be your wife.
In reality I was a joke
All you wanted was a super hard poke.
Glad I didnt have a chance to be a slut
I just wish I could stop loving you from my gut.
I will stay with him
To keep the peace
But wish for you
In my sleep.
You are a kind soul. You are a blessing. I am so glad that I can still know what you are doing. I am not part of your life but you will always be part of mine. You are a dream that I know will never come true. I can still dream and think of you. I find comfort in knowing you are still alive. My kind soul.
When I see your picture it brings it all back.
I want you out of my head and my heart.
How can I have such feelings for you?
You still have a power over me that I cannot let go.
I didn’t even really know you.
There was something magical about you.
You have this influence that is painful.
I wonder if you knew it would make a difference.
I am sure you wouldn’t care.
You told me I was nice.
I was.
You told me I was funny.
I was.
You told me this was cool.
It was.
You told me I was pretty.
I am.
You told me we’d be friends.
I was.
You told me you needed my help.
I did.
You told me to meet you.
I drove.
You told me to text you if I was sad.
I did.
You told me to be grateful.
I was.
You told me to have boundaries.
I did not.
You told me that we could not come back from that.
I did.
You told me not to contact you.
I won’t.
Did it ever really matter?
Did you ever really care?
Was it just a game for you or
Really just a crazy dare?
I think about you often
But not for lust or fame.
I think about your often
Because you were a flame.
I really wished I mattered,
I really wished you cared.
I wished you’d reconsider,
Before I disappear.
How do I move on when I still am totally in love with you? I just do. I am trying to love him. I am trying to love the man I am married to. I am trying to be happy. I am trying to make him happy. I am trying to believe that I love him. I am trying to move on. I really am. I know you have moved one. I know I must move on. I know I must.
As he lays sleeping I think of you. I think about what could of been. I think about how wonderful you are. I wonder if you think of me. I am working on things here to try and make it work. I am trying to make myself happy. I am trying hard for him to see that I am happy. I am trying to fall in love with him. Thoughts of you cloud my mind. It makes me wonder about my choices. It makes me sad to think of you. I wonder how and why I fell so hard. I miss you so much. But I know that it is better for me to go on. You told me to. You told me that it would never work. You told me that you didn’t want to do this. I understand. But I still think of you and wonder if you think of me.
I can’t get over it. I try and try. YOU are part of my soul. I would give it all up for you. I know this is a sin. I know it is wrong. I know you don’t care. But you are part of me. I want so bad for you to leave my mind! I want so bad to try and go on. I want to make it work here. But I can’t! I can’t get over you!
Up and down the road I go. Wondering if it will ever get easier. Thinking and planning every step. Then realizing that the path I have taken cannot be controlled. It was done before me. It didn’t think about my needs but thought about what was right for me. I am thankful for this hike. It takes me along the path… learning as I go that the steps I take will lead me to where I need to be.
It was quick. It was fast. It was there. It jumped out and landing right in my lap. It was only to hold for a short time. It made my life stronger. It made me stronger. If only I could hold it for a little longer. But it was too quick.
avteachergal 